This is the world. This is my life. These are my words.

Archive for October, 2004|Monthly archive page

"How long do i have to wander before i admit that im lost?"

In Uncategorized on October 28, 2004 at 21:37

I guess i thought i’d be home by now. I was suposed to be, i had planned to be. Home changed. Or maybe it was me that changed. All i know is, i’m still not there. My heart is in my chest, but that can’t be home. Home is where happiness *is*. And I want to breathe it in thick, I want it to clog my pores. I want to *be* where happiness lives.

"Only plastic roses bloom in winter"

In Uncategorized on October 28, 2004 at 18:25

Its been raining for the past 2 weeks. It’s dark, and it’s gray. Still no snow.

"Because the trees can’t pick up their own leaves"

In Uncategorized on October 25, 2004 at 17:51

I spent the weekend in Avignon. I made an old friend believe it was to visit her, but really it was to have an excuse to dance on the bridge. ..Sur le pont d’avignon, l’on y danse l’on y danse….

I hung out with her friends, and pretended i belonged. I drank too much and acted like i was in highschool. It was nice.

"The cows are mocking me"

In Uncategorized on October 13, 2004 at 16:03

So i live in the middle of nowhere. We dont have a train station, or a post office, but we have a bus stop. Two weekends ago i discovered that the bus didn’t run on sundays, i was a bit annoyed but i got over it. Last Thursday i discovered it didnt run on saturday,I was a bit upset about that. Monday i discovered that the bus only runs 3 times a day. THREE TIMES A DAY! Once at 06:45, then not again until 17:22, then another at 18:47. So basicly if you need to take the bus during the day, you cant. Today i discovered that the bus does not run at all during school holidays. Isn’t that fun! So im pretty much stranded in the middle of nowhere forever. I have no car, no bike, no rollerskates. Only my feet and the town with the train station, and my laguage school is a 2 hour walk away. So guess who can’t go to class. Yay. Im happy!

"So this is how she wakes up flowers"

In Uncategorized on October 9, 2004 at 14:20

I sat down on the bench and waited for the train to arrive. The things i had bought were screaming to be let out of my bag so i opened it up and admired my new needles and green yarn. I was happier than a kid with candy. I was thinking about socks. I wanted to knit socks. An old lady sat down next to me. She looked over and i expected her to say something, she didn’t. She looked down at her bag, and i thought ‘Now she is going to get her knitting out and we can knit together’. She started to pull her new things. And as she pulled out the new lacy lingerie I managed not to laugh even as my friend pointedout the irony in this situation. The 25 year old girl buys knitting needles and yarn, and the 80 year old woman buys sexy underwear.

"We all want to smell shadows"

In Uncategorized on October 6, 2004 at 20:02

He was wearing Mona Lisa on his chest, and i stared at his ass for 5 minutes. I could see his armpit hair when he lifted up his arms, there wasn’t much there but it was manly all the same. I tried to follow him out the door, but i started off walking too fast and ended up in front of him. I slowed down, he didn’t speed up. We were walking along side. I turned slightly to stare without appearing to stare. He smiled at me. I said “Bonsoir” and tried not to look sheepish.

"I’m crawling in your hair like a bug"

In Uncategorized on October 3, 2004 at 14:53

Sometimes the days go by like hours.

I look up and you’re still here,

in my mind

like a cancer

eating away at my originality.


I fed you sugar to keep you going,

tainted with arsenic to kill you slowly.