This is the world. This is my life. These are my words.

Archive for the ‘randomness from my mind’ Category

I seem to keep finding myself here, again. 

In Hand-made life, photos, randomness from my mind, Uncategorized on January 5, 2016 at 20:54

I always start the year off thinking that it will be different from the last. Not diffierent as in the events that pass are bound to be, but different in that  my mind will grow differently. It will develop differently depending on the events that I witness, and by the events that are relayed to me in the stories and experiences of those i meet. And i hope that in turn I can play a part in the growth of someone elses mind, so that they to may be different this year, by being more of themselves.  

I have not posted in quite some time. When last i wrote there was a lot of things happening. To many things to talk about and then too many things to step away from to tell. And then there was nothing. Nothing new to say. And so like many times before i said nothing.  But here i find myself again with words to share. 

In august of 2013 we bought a house.  

 The house is located in south Seattle. We have an enormous spot for the food garden, the chikens have a large enclosed yard, and there is still enough space for  relaxing in nice weather. I have been busy the last 2 years fixing up the house and getting the yard into a gardenable space. It has been a lot of work but work that i have enjoyed. Neither the yard nor the house are “finished” but i think they are off to a good start. Currently the garden is a mess, but in a few weeks i will start preparing for the spring garden, and then the summer one. 

After we bought the house we started the processs of becomming foster parents witht he hope of adopting 1 or 2 infants or todlers from foster care. Everyone told us going through an agency would be best since our end goal was adoption. We jumped through all the hops and were issued a foster licence. Unfortunatly we have not had much luck or any good experiences with our agency and almost 2 years later (2 years of being licenced) we have had no foster children in our home. With the start of the new year we have decided to break up with our agency, which causes a bunch of complications, but things can not continue as they are. (more on this at a later date).

Mostly things are the same as they were. Ben is still obsessing over music ( Armand still finds joy in destroying all the things.  And I am trying to find the time to continue living that handmade, homemade life I long for.
Hello 2016.

Fat girl biking.

In biking, Fat Girl Biking, randomness from my mind on July 4, 2010 at 04:25

For the past several months my life has been all about biking. I bike to work. I bike to the store. I bike to meet friends. I bike on the weekends for fun. I talk about biking. I buy ridiculous bike clothing, tight-fitting and padded for my comfort even though i firmly believe spandex is a privilege not a right, and im not entirely convinced that i have the right. BIKES BIKES BIKES!

It was the end of june last year when i decided i was fed up with riding the bus with crazy people, but it wasn’t until early august that i managed to find the bike right for me. I was determined to look cool biking. I test rode a million bikes (read 10). Since seattle if full of hills i eliminated the ultra cool hipster Fixed Gear immediately. Although i knew that would make me look supper cool, i also knew there would be no way that i would be able to get simple places like home which sits at the top of a hill from every direction. Next up road bikes! They look cool. I test road two. The first one was wrong for a lot of reasons. I was too low to the ground, i didn’t like how hunched over i was, and more importantly i really couldn’t get a hold of the brakes. Having gone straight from little kid pedal brakes to the parallel to the handlebar brakes on a mountain bike these in front-of-you-somewhere-too-lowdown things were confusing. The test ride was at best scary and painful, but a different bike might be better. So i told the bike-shop-guy my issues and he suggested a different road bike, bigger frame, a little less hunching. At first this bike felt better, it was less hunching, and the bigger frame was also appreciated as i didn’t feel like i was sitting on the ground, now what about those brakes. Having gone down a hill and needing to turn right onto a busier road i found myself needing to break. I reach my hand up to squeeze the lovely parallel to the handle bars.. you know where they had always been on my mountain bikes when i felt panic and needed to stop quickly. Only this wasn’t one of those types of bikes. Eventually i remembered where the breaks where and applied them, but not before scaring the shit out of myself and the guy driving the car i nearly ran into head first. I should have stopped then, but after calming down from my near death experience i decided that i just wouldn’t buy one of those bikes with the silly break placement. This left hybrids!

They took all the cool parts of a road bike and mingled them with all the cool parts of a mountain bike. I test road a bunch of hybrids. And after a few weeks i decided on a kona dew plus. A kona bike because they seemed to have a more solid frame. I was slightly afraid that those really thin bikes were not really made for someone my size.  The dew plus model came with disc brakes. And the internet told me that disc brakes were better for biking in wet conditions. I live in seattle.. i deducted that i would in fact be braking in wet conditions for most of the year.

And so it began. My life with bikes. Id like to say that it was a wonderful honeymoon period, but that would be a lie. My first few months were full of flat tires, fights with stray birds on the bike trail, and slick roads. There was even an incident with a jogger that was jogging with his eyes closed. But then i got new tires, and the bike and i had a talk. After that things were good. Months and months went by and we had become the best of friends.

Things were going so well that i decided that i would train for the STP (Seattle to Portland), a 202 mile bike ride.

So that’s what ive been doing. Training. I was up to two days of back to back 60 miles. Things were going so well. But, you know… its funny how things go well, until of course, they don’t.

Sweet September.

In randomness from my mind, thoughts on September 30, 2009 at 23:02

September was going to be a great month. I road in on a sugar high, giggling, and hopeful. But, like with any true artificial high, when the sweet turned to sour i was left with fatigue and exhaustion, headaches and mood swings, and cravings for more of the sugar i was now being denied. I never did get any more sugar. And while September turned out not to be so sweet i am still left with a hopeful feeling. This month turned into a stumble to find myself. I am not quite sure where i was left, and i didn’t even notice i was gone, but when i looked.. i wasn’t there. I stopped crafting a while ago. I haven’t made a book in months. My knitting lays in bags hung in the closet. Projects so neglected that i no longer even remember what it was i was knitting. My cameras have all been collecting dust on a shelf. My journals lay blank next to cracked paints, and pens with dried up ink.
I am determined to find myself in things people are learning to forget. Things that i remember i used to love. I picked up a new film camera from the thrift store, and a manual typewriter too. I dusted off my old AE-1, my Holga, and my Polaroid Land Camera. I have found some darkroom space to use and should start developing something useful in a matter of weeks ( months? who knows.. its been years). I have been listening to my walkman (thriftstore), and some old tapes. I will write some letters on my type writer, and i will send them out into the world, with a handmade envelope, and a smile.


In randomness from my mind on September 30, 2008 at 17:46

October will be a month to take a closer look at things. Life, the world, yourself… but mainly the things around you. So, for the month of October i will share a photo with you everyday. A photo of something close up.

Obsession… (Stalking)

In obsession, photos, randomness from my mind on April 19, 2008 at 22:38

I like to people watch. I silently observe the world around me. I’m never hidden, yet somehow no one ever notices me.

Obsession… (gods in pubs)

In obsession, photos, randomness from my mind on April 18, 2008 at 21:16

(Photo of Thor taken in 2005 by me.. i was drunk)

In 2005 i lived in paris. That was the year i started drinking. It was also the year i was obsessed with a danish bartender named Thor.

The end of the beginning, and the beginning of the middle.

In randomness from my mind on March 12, 2008 at 00:10

Today, in timezones across the world, i will turn 29. This is the last year of the beginning of my life. Next year will be the start of the middle.  I will live today, and the next 364 days like it’s the last time i will be 29… because it is.

Everyone should know when its over, travel-log (day 134, the end), Jyväskylä Finland

In finland, randomness from my mind, travel on December 31, 2007 at 20:01

When i started traveling i had some bizare idea that i would meet locals and learn about cultures. essentually i was going to have a go at being an anthropologist. I had planned to visit majour places but avoid the backpacker traps. I soon realized that i didn’t know hwo to do that. I still tried, but somewhere along the way.. probably Vietnam where i grew to hate all people… i stoped trying. I still didn’t end up bar hopping in every backpacker ghetto but i found myself surrounded by those people who did. I started to think that i had failed myself. I the anthropologist had just become another one of those westerners along for cheap thrills.. but then i realized that i was never really there to study the natives of the lands i was in. I wasn’t prepared for it. I had little background on them there was no way i could accurately study them. i did however come with th eknowledge of the western world. And i was very capable of observing, judging, and analyzing the actions of the backpackers around me. And so i did.. and it was good.

My travels are over for now. Soon i will be safely settled in Finland. New job, New home, New city to explore. But its stable, no more adventurous bus rides next to chickens, or sketchy boarder crossings. No more dirty guesthouses with questionable food. By the end i grew weary of hot weather and strangers, but i will miss it. For now i will try my best at learning Finnish, and hope it decides to snow.

Goodbye 2007….

Happy new year.

your kingdom for a drink, Travel-log (day 117), Bangkok, Thailand

In randomness from my mind, Thailand, travel on December 14, 2007 at 12:57

written in bangkok, posted from london.
In the city 65 baht would have awarded me, for example, one 1.5 L bottle of mineral water (15 baht), one95g bag of potatoe chips (30 baht), and one 250ml carton of veggie juice (20 baht). Or 3 servings of pad thai and a pack of gum. Sadly the thirsty and starving me found out that at the new shiny
Bangkok airport my 65 baht was not even enough for a small 500ml of water (70 baht). I paced the halls of the shopping mall around and glared at the hugo boss stores and the perfume stalls, the duty free shops and the cafes where the price signs mocked me and my 65 baht. I finally i found one cafe that would allow me to gift them my dingy 65 baht for one crusty croissant. I handed over every last baht i had and tried not to snatch the bag out of the guys hand. The croissant might have lasted two mins, and i think i even managed to taste it. And with the last bit of my thai money gone i sat desperately trying not to think of water.


In photos, randomness from my mind on August 22, 2007 at 18:25

On wet damp slow days i will miss watching snails have slow races.